Her Gem No More
by QueenRiley
Summary: Sharpay misses her best friend.  Warning: mild ChadRyan SLASH, if boyonboy kissing bothers you, this is not the Sharpay introspection piece for you.


Sharpay used to stomp. She used to bang and blow and tramp through the halls. She was a force to be reckoned with and she made sure all who passed her knew it. She used to make as much noise as possible to alert all to her presence. But not so much anymore. Lately she's been sad, dejected. She aimlessly wanders through the halls of Lava Springs. She sits quietly beside the pool, lost in inner reflection. She's taken up yoga classes with her mother. Her air of confidence, of superiority, is gone. She's lost and alone inside and it's starting to eat away at her cool exterior.

Part of her was missing. She knew what was wrong, what had happened, but she didn't know how to fix it. She was missing her other half. Ryan, before her perpetual shadow, was now nowhere to be found. He didn't hang out with her by the pool anymore. He wasn't there to stroke her ego, to plot with her, to bring her ice cream when her plans didn't work. He wasn't there to giggle over boys or gossip about their peers. No, he'd abandoned her. He'd just up and left, made new friends, and now he didn't want her anymore. She'd been angry at first. They'd seemed okay after the Star Dazzle fiasco, but as the days turned into weeks, it became obvious he wasn't coming back to her. He seemed to much prefer the company of his new friends, the Wildcats, than his own sister. It was the first time in the seventeen years they'd been alive that he hadn't been quietly behind her on a daily basis.

She'd been with him through everything. She'd been his protector, shielding him from the harsh prejudices of the world. She'd kicked the doctor when they were three and she'd tried to give Ryan his shots. She'd stamped her foot and wouldn't relent until Mother had fired their Nanny when they were six because the nanny had hurt Ryan's feelings. She'd told him normal little boys didn't watch musicals. It had taken Sharpay an entire night curled up with him singing his favourite songs to get him to calm down. She'd been the one to distract him in school when his teachers had meetings with their parents. She hadn't wanted him to hear the comments about their "special boy", hadn't wanted him to know the teachers thought him strange or stupid. She'd cleaned him up when his little league "team" had smeared rotten food all over him when they took the term "smear the queer" too literally. Sure it had been better since they moved to Albuquerque. Somehow people were more open minded here than in Rhode Island. Or perhaps it wasn't that they were more open minded, but rather that the Evans' extreme wealth had more pull here. Either way, people accepted Ryan for the oddball gay boy he was and never batted an eye. He was confident because of HER. If Sharpay hadn't been there for him in the beginning, he'd never have had the strength to be comfortable with himself now. He was ungrateful. Or so she had told herself. It was on constant repeat of her internal dialogue. Now though, now she wasn't so sure.

Sharpay spent her days alone now. Ryan was off spending time with his new friends. She would rise in the morning to his singing and before she could get her breakfast, he would be gone, speeding off in his yellow Mustang. She'd seen him playing baseball with the boys or hanging out poolside with Gabriella. He'd been riding around with Taylor and spending time in the kitchens chatting with Zeke and Martha. More than once she'd gone into the dining room and watched as he and Kelsie performed jaunty duets on the piano, much to the member's amusement. At night, when they were forced into the same house, she could hear him chatting on the phone late into the night. Mostly he talked to Gabriella and sometimes to Chad. Thursdays were apparently group hang out night because he was always over at Gabriella's until the wee hours in the morning, and as she listened through the walls, would spend even more time on the phone with her afterwards, talking about her mother's brownies and what they would do the following day. His plans never included her, of course.

She wandered the halls of Lava Springs now, lost in thought as to what she'd done to deserve her total abandonment. Sure she'd been a horrid sister, but for him to leave her as totally as he'd done? She wasn't sure she deserved all that. As she neared one of the yoga studios, shuffling her feet, she was startled to feel more than hear the pounding beat of a cd player turned a little too loud. She peaked through the open door and watched as her brother danced by himself. His eyes were closed; he was oblivious to the world, just there dancing his heart out. They hadn't danced, just danced for the heck of it, in a long time. And here he was, dancing as if nothing else mattered in the world, no choreography, no hesitation. He looked so happy. Sheer ecstasy played across his face as he pounded to the beat, crossing the span of the yoga studio with a smile a mile wide. She scurried behind the nearby ficus tree as she noticed he was, in fact, not alone.

"You're crazy, Wildcat!" Gabriella exclaimed from one side of the room. She was sitting on the floor leaning against Troy. They were bopping along to the music. She watched as her brother skipped across the room and took a pair of dark hands in his.

"Dance with me?" He asked. Chad Danforth allowed himself to be pulled to the middle of the yoga studio. He immediately took Ryan in his arms and they began to dance, spinning and spinning until she was sure Chad, at least, had to be dizzy. The mirrors lining the back wall taunted her with what appeared to be a thousand copies of the dancing boys. She'd never seen Ryan so happy in his entire life. He had friends now, real friends, who cared for him and treated him as he deserved to be treated. Treated him the way she never had, she realized. She'd be snarky, rude, sarcastic. She'd been downright mean to him for so many years knowing he'd just stand back there and take it without complaint. He hadn't deserved any of that. He deserved to be loved, to be praised, to be lifted up, his ego stroked as much as he had done for her. Instead she'd gone so far as to use him and toss him aside as if he were garbage. She shouldn't be surprised he'd gone off and found new friends.

The song ended, and as the cd went to the next track, the dancers slowed to a stop, still holding tightly to each other. They laughed, a joyous sound, and Chad was staring affectionately at Ryan. She was surprised when Chad leaned down and kissed her brother with an ease that spoke of familiarity. She wondered how long they'd been doing THAT and why he hadn't told her. They stood, lost in each other, for long enough that even she began to get uncomfortable, never mind the two sitting in the room with them.

"Get a room, you two!" Troy called out as he threw a ball cap at the pair. They broke apart and laughed, Chad throwing the hat back.

"We're already in a room. You can leave, if it bothers you," Ryan hollered back. When had he gotten so brash, so brave? When had he gotten so open about his sexuality as to brazenly make out in front of other people? When had he grown so distant from her that he wouldn't bother to tell her? More to the point, when had he gotten so happy? He was glowing, his face alight with pure delight. She'd never seen him like this. He was shining for all the world to see. What use to be her gem, kept hidden in her shadow, was now out to the world, gleaming as if he really was a diamond in the sun.

Ryan wasn't hers anymore and it hurt. It felt as if she'd been stabbed by a knife, the blade twisting deep in her gut. She watched him dance with his boyfriend, taunt and laugh with his friends, watched him shine, and a piece of her died inside. She didn't know how to fix it and she didn't know if she could ever get him back. He was gone and she was left alone. She sighed and began to walk away, scuffing her designer flip flops on the floor. She heard pounding feet, but didn't turn. She heard the creak of a door, but didn't stop. She heard a voice, a soft melodic voice, and her world spun on its axis.

"Sharpay? You want to come in?"


End file.
